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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22810099">The Loneliest Girl in the World</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/timidDot/pseuds/timidDot'>timidDot</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Homestuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Light Angst, Minor John Egbert/Dave Strider, Self-Indulgent</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 10:08:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22810099</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/timidDot/pseuds/timidDot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade Harley has never been the best at conveying how she truly feels to others and messages Dave in a panic, leaving him worried and confused when he returns to his computer. A heartfelt conversation about loneliness and friendship ensues.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jade Harley &amp; Dave Strider</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Loneliest Girl in the World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi!! this fic is so incredibly self-indulgent and kind of a vent thing tbh bc im a big jade kinnie as im sure u can tell. dave as always been a rlly comforting character to me too!! this piece is more personal than what im used to sharing with ppl so i really hope its not just impossible to enjoy haha, thank you and have a nice day!! :-)</p><p>also, tw for implied abuse of dave from bro- nothing explicit, just figured a warning may be helpful :-)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="dave">TG: what did you need jade </p><p class="dave">TG: sorry i didnt see this sooner fuck </p><p>You fucking buffoon. Why do you bother with this shit? You know Dave has better things to do than talk to you. Nevertheless, you respond to his message.</p><p class="jade">GG: oh, hey dave!! </p><p class="dave">TG: jade cmon </p><p class="jade">GG: im okay!! no worries </p><p class="dave">TG: believe it or not im genuinely concerned </p><p class="dave">TG: you cant just expect to message me out of nowhere super urgently and then brush it off like it was fuckin nothing </p><p>Seems like you’ve been caught red-handed. No matter how awful you feel, it’s futile to dodge these questions.</p><p class="jade">GG: haha uh </p><p class="jade">GG: well im sorry about that!! </p><p class="jade">GG: i shouldve been clearer :( </p><p class="jade">GG: its just… </p><p>You pause. It feels stupid to talk about this. Dave doesn’t exactly have an easy life where he can just drop everything to help you for feeling a little lonely.</p><p class="dave">TG: just what? </p><p class="jade">GG: please dont laugh at me but </p><p class="jade">GG: ive been really lonely these days </p><p class="jade">GG: its hard to talk about it with anyone at all if im being totally honest so im sorry for bugging you about it </p><p class="jade">GG: but out of everyone i could think of, i guess it seemed easiest to talk to you i guess </p><p class="jade">GG: sorry, i know thats a lot of pressure :( </p><p class="dave">TG: well thats rough stuff my guy </p><p class="dave">TG: can i ask why me though </p><p>Ugh. Does he have to rub it in so much? You know he doesn’t mean to be hurtful, but it still feels harsh to you.</p><p class="jade">GG: uh well. </p><p class="jade">GG: i dunno!! </p><p class="dave">TG: jade you cant just not know </p><p class="jade">GG: well its embarrassing!! </p><p class="dave">TG: since when are you the CEO of being embarrassed </p><p class="jade">GG: ugh </p><p class="jade">GG: you say that like i dont even have feelings, dude!! </p><p class="jade">GG: but anyways </p><p class="jade">GG: i dunno. </p><p class="jade">GG: no matter how close i wanna be to rose, it feels like she doesnt like talking to me, like i just annoy her!! so bugging her about this would probably make me feel worse since i dont even think she likes my company </p><p class="jade">GG: and john… i dunno. i feel like maybe he wouldnt understand? he means well and i know that but!!! its hard!!! </p><p class="jade">GG: it feels like im kinda just… unimportant, yknow? </p><p class="dave">TG: damn </p><p class="dave">TG: i didnt expect that </p><p class="jade">GG: sorry… </p><p class="dave">TG: its fine dude </p><p class="dave">TG: i kinda get that feeling if im being honest </p><p class="dave">TG: i dont think rose has anything against you but thats intimidating </p><p class="dave">TG: and johns great and i love him but his advice can be more white-suburban-mom-esque than a goddamn live laugh love sign above a fireplace yknow </p><p class="jade">GG: i do not know </p><p class="dave">TG: right right </p><p class="dave">TG: island shit </p><p class="dave">TG: is that part of it too? </p><p class="jade">GG: oh probably? </p><p class="jade">GG: thatd make a lot of sense since im kind of totally removed from other people </p><p class="jade">GG: so itd have an impact on the amount of loneliness i feel on a day to day basis </p><p class="dave">TG: yeah id guess it does </p><p class="dave">TG: i kinda get that </p><p class="dave">TG: not because i live on an island by myself necessarily </p><p class="dave">TG: but shits not exactly easy here either </p><p class="jade">GG: what do you mean dave? </p><p class="dave">TG: well its not something you really know about cuz ive only talked to john about it </p><p class="dave">TG: not because i dont trust you or anything </p><p class="dave">TG: its just genuinely shitty </p><p class="dave">TG: and i dont really want to be known for it </p><p class="jade">GG: i think thats fair… but if you want to talk ever, im here </p><p class="dave">TG: okay </p><p class="dave">TG: well i dont really go to school like john and rose do </p><p class="dave">TG: thats why im online as much as i am </p><p class="jade">GG: well that makes sense!! </p><p class="dave">TG: yeah you probably could have guessed that </p><p class="dave">TG: but its not really for a great reason </p><p class="dave">TG: my bro isnt the best guardian </p><p class="jade">GG: ohhhh </p><p class="dave">TG: im kind of isolated from everyone except for him </p><p class="dave">TG: and i dont want to go into details really but id really rather not be around him most of the time </p><p class="dave">TG: so i get how you feel </p><p class="jade">GG: im sorry dave </p><p class="dave">TG: its chill, its not like theres anything you can do </p><p class="jade">GG: i know, but it sucks </p><p class="dave">TG: sure does </p><p class="dave">TG: fuck sorry jade </p><p class="dave">TG: i got on my own shit for a while there you didnt ask for that </p><p class="jade">GG: its okay dave </p><p class="jade">GG: can i ask you a question?? </p><p class="dave">TG: shoot </p><p class="jade">GG: what time is it where you are again? im really bad at keeping track… </p><p class="jade">GG: oooh!! i should get 3 more clocks for my room set to u, roses, and johns timezones… </p><p class="dave">TG: it’s uhhhhh </p><p class="dave">TG: 2:33 am </p><p class="jade">GG: DAVE!!!! </p><p class="jade">GG: gosh its 4:33 pm here i had no idea </p><p class="jade">GG: i really dont wanna keep you up </p><p class="dave">TG: its chill  </p><p class="dave">TG: i really dont mind being up late i mean </p><p class="dave">TG: everyone is asleep but thats not always bad </p><p class="dave">TG: rose and john usually go to sleep earlier but being by myself is fine </p><p class="dave">TG: nothin wrong with a little me time </p><p class="jade">GG: if you say so but i think you could use some rest!!  </p><p class="dave">TG: hmmmmmm </p><p class="jade">GG: dont hmm me dave!! </p><p class="jade">GG: you need to take care of yourself </p><p class="dave">TG: im aware thanks </p><p class="dave">TG: just dont want you to feel responsible for me being awake yknow </p><p class="jade">GG: ??? </p><p class="dave">TG: i stay up late anyways im usually just not online </p><p class="jade">GG: oh </p><p class="jade">GG: well you still need to sleep soon!! or at least get off your laptop </p><p class="jade">GG: blue light is bad for your eyes and im afraid your shades dont protect against it!! </p><p class="dave">TG: you still havent really told me what you were upset about </p><p>You lean back and sigh. You were hoping he forgot about that by now, but Dave’s emotional intelligence is surprising you today. He seems to care more than he’s ever let on before, and it feels like he’s got a right to know what’s really wrong. You know he’s smart enough to know it’s about loneliness, but it’s hard to say it outright.</p><p class="jade">GG: i think you know what it is dave, i dont wanna bug you </p><p class="dave">TG: well bugs are cool so </p><p class="dave">TG: bug away jade </p><p>There’s an offer you can’t refuse. It’s pointless not to be honest.</p><p class="jade">GG: ugh well </p><p class="jade">GG: i just feel so terribly lonely all of the time!! </p><p class="jade">GG: i know you met john and rose through me but it feels like im superfluous to our entire group </p><p class="jade">GG: i mean john and rose have been friends for a really long time </p><p class="jade">GG: you and john are very sweet together </p><p class="jade">GG: and you and rose are like siblings </p><p class="jade">GG: i just feel like a wallflower!! i watch everything but no one really cares about me or notices me </p><p class="jade">GG: i live across the world and you all arent half a day apart from each other </p><p class="jade">GG: and it feels terrible to feel this way!!!!! </p><p class="jade">GG: its lovely and wonderful to have close friends and loved ones and i really dont want to take that away from any of you </p><p class="jade">GG: i love you all so so so much but it just feels stupid to care </p><p class="jade">GG: it feels like im the loneliest girl in the world </p><p class="jade">GG: how melodramatic is that? </p><p class="jade">GG: im sorry dave </p><p>Before you realize it, you look down at your keyboard and see teardrops on the keys. When you reach to take your glasses off, the droplets are there too and your cheeks are wet. It’s not like the words you said are news to you. Why are you crying? Why are you getting more and more sad, even though you know nothing will really change? Your palm is pressed to your face, trying to wipe away the tears before you realize it’s just made your hand wet. Blinking, you look up from your hand to the screen, which has replaced your green text with a familiar screen of red.</p><p class="dave">TG: hey hey jade </p><p class="dave">TG: its okay </p><p class="dave">TG: i asked what was wrong and i care, i dont mind listening dude </p><p class="dave">TG: its like. feels like everyone could live without you and be fine, right? </p><p class="dave">TG: but think about it being one of us </p><p class="dave">TG: say rose felt that way yknow </p><p class="dave">TG: youd be like “aw fuck rose nah youre cool as shit everyone fuckin loves you” </p><p class="dave">TG: maybe you feel like its stupid like that doesnt apply to you </p><p class="dave">TG: but i know it does jade. </p><p class="dave">TG: john sees you as a sister and he loves you i know that hes always so happy to hear from you, fucking gay little bitch </p><p class="dave">TG: and rose isnt great at communicating her true emotions yknow </p><p class="dave">TG: somethin i got in common with her sadly </p><p class="dave">TG: but i know she likes you and likes talking to you shes just used to mindgames and shit and you arent like that at all jade </p><p class="dave">TG: im like 420% sure that she wants to get to know you better </p><p class="dave">TG: and yes you introduced me to the love of my life which is kind of like the coolest thing anyone could ever do </p><p class="dave">TG: but i value u beyond that dude </p><p class="dave">TG: like being honest with my feelings is not my shit so bare with me but </p><p class="dave">TG: youre my oldest and kind of my first friend jade </p><p class="dave">TG: i know were very different people but you stick around and do shit for me that other ppl never would and </p><p class="dave">TG: no romo but i love you a lot </p><p class="dave">TG: no matter how lonely you feel, were here for you </p><p>And the waterworks keep coming.</p><p class="jade">GG: oh dave you dont have to say all of that </p><p class="dave">TG: too bad already did </p><p class="jade">GG: ugh youre stubborn </p><p>You say that like you mind, but you’re happier than you’ve been in weeks, despite what the tears rolling down your cheeks might imply.</p><p class="dave">TG: you know i mean it all right </p><p class="">GG: well duh… im not that stupid haha </p><p class="dave">TG: i know your joking but youre very smart jade cmon </p><p class="">GG: thank you dave. i know im being kind of dogy and im still really emotional but it really means more to me than i can find the words to properly express it, yknow? </p><p class="dave">TG: you should start rapping jade </p><p class="dave">TG: find the right words hella fast </p><p class="dave">TG: didnt you rap yonkers once on call that was pretty fire </p><p class="dave">TG: i mean i know tyler the creator isnt great but that was rad </p><p class="dave">TG: shit thats off topic </p><p class="jade">GG: im glad you finally realized that dummy :) </p><p class="dave">TG: ohhh smiley face is back in the mix </p><p class="dave">TG: i was gettin worried since you hadnt sent one this whole time </p><p class="dave">TG: i mean there were some frowns at the start but those arent the same yknow </p><p class="jade">GG: yeah, i know :) </p><p class="jade">GG: but if i can be serious for a moment, i really appreciate what you said and i love you, no romo </p><p class="dave">TG: im glad i could help you jade </p><p class="dave">TG: you deserve to know how awesome you are </p><p class="dave">TG: also sorry for the sudden leave but its also like… 3 am now and thats my bedtime so </p><p class="jade">GG: ooooh, dave out here with the bedtime!! </p><p class="jade">GG: not so cool now, huh? &gt;:) </p><p class="dave">TG: its self imposed so its cool as shit </p><p class="jade">GG: suuuuure </p><p class="dave">TG: goodnight jade, i love you </p><p class="jade">GG: goodnight dave, i love you!! get some good sleep </p><p class="dave">TG: you too </p><p><span class="dave"> turntechGodhead [TG]</span> <span class="pesterlog"> ceased pestering </span> <span class="jade"> gardenGnostic [GG]</span></p><p>“You too?” It’s 5 p.m. in the Philippines, why would you need to-<br/>
Oh. You’re already asleep. The conversation you had with Dave must have been more comforting than you thought, and the sun setting in your window sill isn’t a bad touch. You feel Becquerel curl up at your side as you drift asleep in front of your computer, feeling lucky to be able to be understood and loved so deeply by your friends. Maybe it doesn’t matter how far away they all are. You’re not alone. Not anymore.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i hc jade as black/filipino mixed so in case you are worried about her saying slurs she shouldnt in reference to the yonkers thing, jade would never, she only says slurs she can reclaim</p><p>thank you for reading and have a nice day!! :-)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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